If a tree falls in the forest, can you make milk out of it?
It’s a question Aubrey Plaza wants you to ponder.
At least for a minute or two …
The A-list actress, producer, children’s author and runway diva — recently named to Time Magazine’s Most Influential People List – added wood milk spokesperson to her résumé this week.
What is wood milk?
Why, of course, it’s an eco-friendly, artisanal, free-range milk.
“Wood milk started with a simple idea. I saw a tree and I asked myself, can I drink this?’’ says Plaza in a new video where she’s seen forest bathing, dressed in her coziest woods-appropriate autumn fashions straight out of a lumberjack catalog.
Plaza snuggles up to a tree, caresses some bark, and dances for a moment like a wood nymph.
If this were a scene out of Plaza’s first hit series “Parks and Recreation,’’ in her breakout role as April Ludgate, one easily could imagine Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) joining in her dance or Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) coming along and chopping the trees down with his bespoke ax.
But that’s not at all what you asked, is it?
At Wood Milk Orchards, “we grow our trees the old-fashioned way, right out of the ground,’’ Plaza assures the viewer.
Trees are tapped and wood is “squished into a slime that’s legal to sell,’’ she entices.
The process “locks in the flavors like cherry, maple and, of course, mahogany,’’ she promises.
Is wood milk real?
Of course not.
It’s entirely fake, and if it were real, Plaza assures that it would have 0 nutritional value.
(We aren’t sure that’s true, as drinking wood would likely help your fiber intake. But don’t try that at home, kids.)
What’s really happening here is Plaza is coming for your morning oat milk latte. Or, more precisely, she wants you to call it an oat beverage latte.
She’s the latest spokesperson for the dairy industry’s “Got Milk?’’ campaign, and the spoof video was released on her Instagram account Thursday. The video was produced by MilkPEP campaign, according to AdWeek. (The acronym stands for Milk Processor Education Program.)
Why wood milk?
As you might have guessed, the marketing folks behind this campaign matched Plaza’s legendary dry delivery with a spoof of the huge spike in plant-based milk alternatives.
The dairy industry is in a battle with the producers of almond, rice, soy, pea, coconut, cashew, macadamia and other milk alternatives, as plant-based beverages have grown in popularity in recent years.
From 2016 to 2020, sales of plant-based milk alternatives rose from $1.5 billion to $2.4 billion, the FDA said, taking up a greater share of the market.
In February, the Food and Drug Administration released draft guidelines that determined “oat, soy, almond and other plant-based drinks can continue to call themselves “milk.” On Friday, they extended the comment period on the guidelines.
The issue is not likely to end there, as there is some bipartisan support to regulate non-dairy labeling, according to the Associated Press.
“Consumers understand that plant-based milk alternatives don’t contain milk, and the word ‘milk’ is “strongly rooted in consumers’ vocabulary when describing and talking about plant-based alternatives,” the FDA has said.
What’s next for Aubrey Plaza?
The past year for Plaza has been a whirlwind, as she snagged an Emmy Award nomination for HBO’s “The White Lotus,” earned rave reviews for her starring role in the film “Emily the Criminal,” co-starred with Lucy and Danny DeVito in the adult cartoon “Little Demon’’ on FXX, for which she served as an executive producer, and landed the hosting spot on “Saturday Night Live.”
Plaza’s upcoming projects include the Disney+ “WandaVision” spinoff, “Agatha: Coven of Chaos,” which is expected to premiere later this year, and Netflix’s “Scott Pilgrim The Anime” series, featuring reprised roles from the original cast.
She recently paid a trip back home to Delaware, including a stop to dine at Bardea and celebrate their pizza.
Can I buy wood milk even if it’s fake?
No. But you can buy a “Got Wood?’’ T-shirt by visiting drinkwoodmilk.com, where you can also watch the video as often as is healthy, but not one time more. Proceeds from T-shirt sales will fund a campaign to plant 10,000 trees, according to the website.
As for whether your milk mustache comes from a cow, a bag of oats, a rice field or the forest, we’ll leave that to you.
Meanwhile, you can also have fun watching Aubrey Plaza snort milk into her nostrils on this video from her Evil Hag Productions.
More Aubrey Plaza
Binge-worthy:Aubrey Plaza recognized as a leading lady in streaming entertainment for 2023
Delaware influencers:Entertainment: Delaware’s most influential people
Not Ready for Primetime:Aubrey Plaza is hosting ‘Saturday Night Live.’ Is she a Hollywood A-lister?
Big moment for Aubrey:‘Bow to your queen!’ Aubrey Plaza uses SNL monologue to remind Biden who rules Delaware
Hometown partners:Delaware Duo Aubrey Plaza and Dan Murphy return for their sequel to Christmas Witch book
