Skipping that party you’re dreading may not be as bad as your anxiety is making it out to be. As per research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on Dec 11, people tend to overestimate the negative fallouts of declining social plans.
Saying ‘No’ can be hard
Researchers write that “saying no can be hard, leading invitees to accept invitations when they would rather not.”
“Invitees have exaggerated concerns about how much the decline will anger the inviter, signal that the invitee does not care about the inviter, make the inviter unlikely to offer another invitation in the future, and so forth.”
However, after conducting a series of experiments, they found that hosts aren’t as bothered when people cancel or decline their invites.
The data
More than three quarters of respondents, or about 77 per cent, confessed to accepting an invitation to an activity they weren’t interested in attending. All because they were concerned about the consequences of declining. Many assumed that saying no will upset the person who invited them and damage their relationship.
Researchers conducted a series of five experiments with over 2,000 participants.
In one experiment, researchers asked participants to imagine up a scenario where some were the invitees declining the invitation to stay at home. They found that those told to imagine they had declined the invitation believed it would have negative ramifications.
Another experiment involved couples, where one person would make plans only to be declined by the other. The partners rejecting the plan were found to care more.
“While there have been times when I have felt a little upset with someone who declined an invitation, our research gives us quite a bit of good reason to predict people overestimate the negative ramifications for our relationships,” said lead author Julian Givi, PhD.
Saying ‘No’ can be good
As per Givi, an assistant professor at West Virginia University, declining an invitation can have its benefits.
“Burnout is a real thing, especially around the holidays when we are often invited to too many events,” he said, adding, “Don’t be afraid to turn down invitations here and there.”
“But, keep in mind that spending time with others is how relationships develop, so don’t decline every invitation,” he said as quoted by Phys.org.
However, the authors caution that this is true only for small plans, missing milestone occasions like weddings, baby showers etc may take a larger toll on relationships.
(With inputs from agencies)
