Valerie Bertinelli is certain that someday, she’ll be reunited with her longtime love.
Her ex-husband, Eddie Van Halen, passed away in 2020 at age 65 from cancer. The actress is now sharing her story in a new memoir titled “Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I am Today,” which was released on Jan. 18.
The Food Network star recently told Yahoo Entertainment’s “Under the Covers” celebrity book series that she was by the guitarist’s side every day at the hospital with their son Wolfgang.
“Some of the last words I said to him [are], you know, ‘Maybe next time. Maybe we’ll get it right next time,'” said Bertinelli. “And I really do believe that this is not the first time nor will it be the last time that I spend a lifetime with him.”
Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen were married from 1981 until 2007.
(Photo by Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)
According to the outlet, the 61-year-old felt Van Halen’s presence after his passing.
“I was drifting in that half-asleep, half-awake place when I sensed a presence in the room,” she wrote in her book. “I opened my eyes and there, through the darkness, was Ed. Looking at me. With that Cheshire cat grin of his. Like you asked for it. Here I am. ‘What’s going on?’ I asked. ‘Are you really here?'”
Bertinelli detailed how she heard her ex-husband playing music that had a special meaning to them. She said the experience put her at ease and assured her that everything was going to be OK.
The pair were married from 1981 until 2007. While the exes remarried to other spouses in the later years, their bond endured. And it was their loving relationship that Van Halen relied on as he faced his biggest battle.
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Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli kept a close bond even after their marriage ended.
((Photo by Ann Clifford/DMI/The LIFE Picture Collection via Getty Images) )
According to an excerpt previously published by People magazine, it was Thanksgiving Day 2019 when Van Halen stopped by Bertinelli’s home and asked to speak with her privately. After they found a quiet spot in a friend’s car, he gave her a small bag, which had a pendant-size gold bar. He purchased it while getting cancer treatments in Germany.
“I hope you don’t think it’s weird, you know, that I bought my ex-wife this gift and didn’t get my wife anything,” he told her with tears in his eyes. “I just love you.”
Bertinelli wrote that it was Van Halen’s way to show her how sorry he was for everything.
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Valerie Bertinelli wrote a memoir titled ‘Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I am Today’.
(Photo by Dominik Bindl/Getty Images)
“He wants me to know he messed up [during our marriage],” she wrote. “I contributed to our troubles too and I am also sorry.”
Bertinelli described how in the final weeks of Van Halen’s life, she and their son spent every day with him at the hospital.
“’I love you’ are the last words Ed says to Wolfie and me,” she wrote. “And they are the last words we say to him before he stops breathing.”
Bertinelli said she still regrets the times when she sometimes held back from getting too close to Van Halen when he was sick. She shared that they were both married and those relationships were struggling.
In November, Valerie Bertinelli filed for separation from her second husband, Tom Vitale. She wished him the best.
(Photo by Gregg DeGuire)
Bertinelli also clarified that her relationship with Van Halen was not a contributing factor in her decision to file for separation from her husband, Tom Vitale, in late November. They had been married since 2011. The “Hot in Cleveland” alum explained that she and her second husband had simply grown apart and that she wished him the best.
“There is no chance we are going to get back together,” she wrote about Van Halen. “But I do know if one of us were to open up, the other one would too, and I don’t want to get into that.”
“I can’t explain the feelings Ed and I had for each other,” she continued. “Who really knows had he not died. I doubt it. I loved him more than I know how to explain and there’s nothing sexual about it. It was more than that. And Ed and I understood that. There is no greater love than what we had between the two of us and with that, we made this beautiful son.”
Van Halen, sober since 2008, lost one-third of his tongue to cancer that eventually drifted into his esophagus. In 1999, he had a hip replacement. He married stuntwoman-turned-publicist Janie Liszewski in 2009. She and Van Halen’s brother, Alex Van Halen, were among those who were by the star’s side at the hospital.
VALERIE BERTINELLI ADMITS ‘IT’S BEEN ROUGH’ SINCE EX EDDIE VAN HALEN’S DEATH
Eddie Van Halen (R) performs onstage with his son at Nikon at Jones Beach Theater on August 13, 2015, in Wantagh, New York.
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Solters)
Shortly after Van Halen’s death, Bertinelli took to Instagram and honored her love.
“I’m so grateful Wolfie and I were able to hold you in your last moments,” Bertinelli wrote, showing an image of their baby son. “I will see you in our next life.”
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
