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“Saturday Night Live” went full bathroom humor this weekend, airing the metaphorical (and potentially literal) dirty laundry of Amber Heard’s alleged defecation in the bed incident highlighted during her ex-husband Johnny Depp’s $50 million defamation trial against her.
The cold open started with Nicole Wallace (Kate McKinnon) in a mock MSNBC segment in which she admits with a war in Europe and a baby formula shortage, the trial isn’t the most “pertinent” news but “Isn’t it nice to have a news story that we call all collectively watch and say “Ugh, glad it ain’t me.”
The sketch then moves to the courtroom where Depp’s lawyer (Aidy Bryant) claims they had discovered surveillance footage of the ex-couple’s house staff finding Heard’s feces in their bed.
Heard’s attorney (Heidi Gardner) objects to the showing of the tapes, saying the footage still wouldn’t prove it was Heard who had pooped in the bed.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — Selena Gomez, Post Malone Episode 1825 — Pictured: (l-r) Kenan Thompson, Ego Nwodim, Melissa Villaseñor, and Chris Redd during the Trial Witness Cold Open on Saturday, May 14, 2022
(Photo by: Will Heath/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
“That’s true but I’ll allow it,” Judge Penny Azcarte (Cecily Strong) overrules, “because it does sound fun and this trial is for fun.”
Bryant then plays the footage, which showed a man Depp (Kyle Mooney) says was his property manager (Kenan Thompson) walking into the bedroom while on his phone.
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“Yeah, man, you know she cut that joker’s finger off, right?” Thompson says into the phone in the fake footage. “Hold on a sec,” he tells the person on the other end of the line, sniffing. “Damn, it smells like boo boo in here. It’s coming from this bed.”
He lifts up the sheets. “Ah, hell no! That’s a boo boo!”
Bryant pauses the video and triumphantly walks across the courtroom. “And there you have it. They found the dookie.”
Strong overrules another objection from Heard’s attorney, saying she’d like to continue watching the footage, “because it’s funny.”
As the footage continues, Thompson calls in another member of the staff (Ego Nwodim) who asks Thompson skeptically why would Heard “boo boo in her own bed?”
Johnny Depp has sued ex-wife Amber Heard in a $50 million defamation trial after she claimed he had abused her in a 2018 op-ed.
(Getty)
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“Well, remember she already cut the boy’s finger off,” Thompson answered. “And my daddy always told me if a girl’ll cut your finger off, she will boo boo in your bed.”
As Mooney’s Depp smirks and stifles a smile while on the stand, the judge asks him disapprovingly if he is “finding this trial amusing?”
“A little, yes,” he answers.
“So am I,” she responds, toasting him with a glass of wine. “You’re bad, Captain Jack.”
After watching two more staff members discover the fecal matter on the video, Strong’s Azcarte says she has made her decision in the trial.
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She says, “On one hand, I believe Mr. Depp’s story, but on the other hand your constant little smirk lets me know that this is not the first woman you’ve made so made that she pooped in your bed.”
Selena Gomez guest-hosted the episode and Post Malone was the musical guest.
Host Selena Gomez during the monologue on Saturday, May 14, 2022.
(Will Heath/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
In reality, Heard’s infamous alleged 2016 defecation incident was revealed in court on April 28, when Depp’s former executive chauffeur and security guard Starling Jenkins III testified that the actress told him about the “surprise” she left in Depp’s bed following a fight between the ex-couple when they were together. Jenkins clarified that the “surprise” was the defecation.
“On my side of the bed was human fecal matter,” he recalled. “I laughed. It was so outside, it was so bizarre and so grotesque that I could only laugh.”
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Depp testified that Heard had attempted to blame the bed’s condition on his teacup Yorkies.
“I lived with those dogs for many years,” Depp said. “That did not come from a dog. It just didn’t.”
Fox News’ Janelle Ash contributed to this report.
