Valerie Bertinelli is thriving after finalizing her divorce from her second husband Tom Vitale last fall.
The 62-year-old actress has turned her focus to positivity since she celebrated the end of her 11-year marriage to the financial planner in November.
“11.22.22 second best day of my life,” Bertinelli wrote in the caption of an Instagram video in which she rejoiced over learning that her divorce was about to be finalized.
“Happily divorced. God. Finally. It’s finally over,” the Food Network star said in the clip before exclaiming, “Yes!”
Since then, Bertinelli has been sharing life updates with her fans, including how she’s been working on herself in various ways. Here’s a look at what Bertinelli has said in her own words:
Valerie Bertinelli is focusing on the positive after her divorce from husband Tom Vitale. ( David Crotty/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)
‘Dropped a few things off’
Prior to finalizing their divorce, Bertinelli revealed in September that she was selling the Tiffany & Co. rings and Jimmy Choo sandals that she wore when she and Vitale tied the knot in January 2011.
VALERIE BERTINELLI REVEALS NEW WEIGHT LOSS AFTER GIVING UP THIS ONE THING
“Dropped a few things off with @therealreal,” the cookbook author captioned a post that featured images of the items.
She continued, “A couple of Tiffany rings that have some bad memories attached and a pair of shoes I wore to a wedding in January 2011. They should be up in a couple of weeks!”
The “One Day At A Time” alum and Vitale dated for seven years before marrying at her Malibu home on New Year’s Day in 2011.
In an October interview on the “Out Comes The Sun” podcast, Bertinelli shared her perspective on finding the positive aspects of a painful experience.
“I think because that divorce was so wicked, and it’s really brought me to my knees, but I think of that as a gift because I get to learn so much about myself through this,” she said.
Bertinelli continued, “I get to learn so much about my character. I get to learn so much about my healing. I get to talk to my inner child more, so this wicked part of my life is actually very healing for me.”
“I get to choose every day whether I’m thankful and in gratitude or whether I just want to be b—– and just scream. And I choose to be grateful and be thankful because I also get to learn so much.”
‘First day of the rest of my life’
This past New Year’s Day, Bertinelli shared a video in which she was seen beaming while spinning around in a circle in a backyard overlooking the ocean.
“This new year day is coming in so much happier than last year’s,” Bertinelli wrote in the caption.
She continued, “From a young age, New Year’s Day has been one of my absolute favorite days, for the last 5-6 years it’s been one of the saddest. No more. There is so much to look forward to now, when before it just looked endlessly sad, scary, lonely and stressful.”
“I have no idea what’s ahead for me and I’m not worried. I’m free. This new years day, 2023, is the first day of the rest of my life! I wish all of you every bit of joy and happiness and kindness that you claim. It’s all yours. Grab it!”
VALERIE BERTINELLI SAYS NEW YEAR’S DAY 2023 IS THE ‘FIRST DAY OF THE REST’ OF HER LIFE: ‘I’M FREE’
Bertinelli and Vitale were married on New Year’s Day in 2011 and finalized their divorce last November. (Taylor Hill)
‘I like that side effect’
The two-time Golden Globe Award winner revealed that as she embarked on the new year, she planned to focus on herself, which included participating in Dry January – a popular challenge in which people give up alcohol for the first month of the year.
“So, here’s a nice little side effect of Dry January,” she said in an Instagram clip. “These jeans that I’m wearing were so tight a few months ago that I couldn’t comfortably button them. Now, they’re so loose it’s time for me to go down a size.”
“Yeah, I like that side effect,” Bertinelli added.
Bertinelli had previously told her fans that she had decided to attempt Dry January to improve her health. The Delaware native shared two reasons why she believed that the challenge would benefit her.
“I have decided to go Dry January. I like it so far,” Bertinelli said in an Instagram video. “I’m doing it for two reasons. One, I want to try and cut down the cravings for my sugar. And I think alcohol exacerbates that.”
She continued, “And two, I want to calm down the cortisol in my body that has been raging for the last five, six years. I’ve been in fight, flight, freeze, fawn mode. And I want to go into rest and digest. And I think cutting alcohol will help me do that.”
Bertinelli explained that she believed abstaining from alcohol would help reduce her stress levels in addition to practicing meditation and journaling.
She shared that she had been drinking less alcohol for the past seven months and the challenge was more about cutting down on sugar and “resetting.”
“So, this is it’s mainly about sugar and resetting that fight, flight freeze, spawn mode that I’m helping with meditation and with journaling, and I think with all that, I may reset my whole body,” she said.
Bertinelli noted that it was just a “theory” and added that she wasn’t a doctor. However, she encouraged fans to try the challenge with her.
“If you’re doing a Dry January, let’s have fun. Let’s do it together,” she said. “If not, it’s OK. It don’t matter. You take care of yourself, I’ll take care of me.”
‘Need to feel’
Prior to revealing her weight loss, Bertinelli revealed other positive effects from her sober period. However, she admitted that she had to contend with difficult emotions that surfaced while she abstained from alcohol.
“I’m happy because I physically feel better. I’m getting better sleep, but I’ve noticed that – oh boy – lots of feelings are coming up,” Bertinelli said in several videos she shared to her Instagram Story at the beginning of February.
She explained, “I need to feel. Because what I used to do is try to soothe them or at least try to ignore them with food or alcohol. And I don’t want to do that anymore.”
The former “Hot in Cleveland” star recalled being insulted and screamed at by an unnamed person.
“I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am,” she revealed.
She continued, “I realize… that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me, but my part in all of it was believing it, and I don’t believe it anymore. But it still doesn’t stop the feelings from coming up and the hurt.”
The Food Network star has kept her fans updated on her healing journey. (Nathan Congleton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
‘I am healing’
In another Story, Bertinelli hinted at a past relationship trouble after finding “texts.” When a fan told her that she needed to let go and move on, she responded that she has “moved on.”
Bertinelli, who did not name the individual, added, “And I find through journaling, therapy and especially humor that I am healing even faster.”
The celebrity chef has been open about her struggles with her weight and self-image over the years. In 2009, she posed in a bikini on the cover of People magazine after losing 50 pounds in two years. However, last June, she opened up about gaining weight as she struggled with personal challenges over the past few years.
During an appearance on the “Today” show last June, Bertinelli explained that she was holding on to “protection” weight while she coped with emotional distress.
“I’m looking at myself in the monitor and trying not to judge myself too harshly right now because I know that I’m still holding on to this weight because it’s protecting me right now,” she said, “Because I’m going through a lot of challenges. A lot of heartbreak. A lot of crazy stuff is going on in my life right now.”
She continued, “‘I know this weight is protecting me right now, and when I get healthier internally and emotionally that weight will come off.”
Last June, the television personality said she wasn’t looking to find love again anytime soon. ( Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Discovery)
“Because I know I’m treating my body better. I’m drinking less alcohol, I’m eating less sugar, I’m putting more vegetables in my body, but my body is doing this for a reason… because it needs protection.”
Bertinelli also admitted that she wasn’t looking to find new love anytime soon.
“I am gonna be more than happy to be happily divorced and spend the rest of my life alone,” the television personality said during her “Today” interview. “I’ll be happy that way. Well, with my six cats and my dog and my son, and hopefully one day grandchildren.”
Bertinelli shared son Wolfgang Van Halen, 31, with her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen. The rock legend died at the age of 65 after a long battle with cancer in October 2020.
In June, Wolfgang, who followed in his father’s footsteps and became a musician, announced that he was engaged to longtime girlfriend Andraia Allsop.
Bertinelli remained adamant when asked if she could see herself falling in love again.
“Oh God, no,” she said. “Because of the challenges that I’m going through right now, because divorce sucks. I can’t imagine ever trusting anyone again to let into my life. So I have some trust issues that I’m sure I’m going to have to get past.”
Bertinelli shared son Wolfgang Van Halen, 31, with her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen. The rock legend died at the age of 65 after a long battle with cancer in October 2020. (Zach Pagano/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank)
‘A whole life has opened up’
Last Wednesday, Bertinelli shared an update on her overall personal healing journey as she discussed healing from “the narcissist.”
“Let’s quickly talk about the narcissist,” she said. It is unclear who Bertinelli was talking about as she did not specify who she was referring to. “Because it’s not about them. It’s about us. It’s about our healing. It’s about finding out who made us tolerate the intolerable.
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“This journey, the gift that they gave us, I guess you could say, is that it opened our eyes to why we were letting ourselves be treated that way. So it doesn’t matter who the narcissist is. What matters is that you and I are on an amazing healing journey now, and a whole life has opened up for us because we will no longer tolerate that behavior.”
The “Valerie’s Home Cooking” host also described how “exhausted” narcissistic behavior can be and that it can make one feel like they “were going crazy.”
She concluded the video saying, “Yes, it’s challenging and, yes. it’s difficult, but this is where the healing comes in and they’re nothing. Just become indifferent to them. You don’t love ‘em, you don’t hate ‘em, you just don’t care. But you care about you. That’s the important thing because we matter. You matter.”
‘Lion King’ lessons
The following day, Bertinelli shared a video in which she was seen cozied up with a blanket as she mouthed along to a voiceover from the classic Disney animated movie “The Lion King.” The voiceover was from a scene in which the baboon Rafiki teaches young lion Simba a life lesson after hitting him with a stick.
“It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past,” Rafiki says.
“But the past can still hurt,” Simba replied.
“Ah yes, the past can hurt,” Rafiki tells him. “But the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.”
‘This is called moving on’
Bertinelli also recently took part in the popular TikTok meme “Pass, Pass, Pass, Smash” in a video that she shared on Instagram on Friday. She was seen smiling next to wording on the screen that read: “Healing after living thru hell.” As the words “Fear,” “Self-doubt,” and “Shame” popped up, she swatted them away with her hands as a voiceover said, “Pass, Pass, Pass.”
At the end of the video, the wording: “Truly loving myself for the first time at the age of 62” popped up, she pointed at it and the voiceover said, “Smashing.”
“Smash!!!” she wrote in the caption along with a smiley face with its tongue sticking out.
A few days later, the actress shared a video in which she was seen walking down a sidewalk while noting that she had on a pair of pants that an unnamed person mocked her for wearing.
“I had a small hidden bruise that was activated today,” Bertinelli said.
“You can probably hear them because my pants are rubbing together and it makes this particular sound,” she added of the slight noise.
The actress explained that she stopped wearing the pants after being “mercilessly mocked” by an unnamed person who told her she was “too lazy” to lose weight so that the pants “wouldn’t rub together.”
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter now because it was in the past,” Bertinelli said.
She continued, “Hidden bruises are something that emotional, verbal and mental abuse do to you that people can’t see, but we kinda deal with every day when they’re activated.”
“I’m so grateful the work I’m doing on healing is working. So, it’s making me giggle now.”
Bertinelli said she had previously “put the pants away forever,” adding that “I even changed the way I walk in them.”
“So now I can wear them, hear that sound, and that’s the sound of freedom to me.”
The “Enough Already” author admitted that she was hesitant to post the video because she knew that some followers would tell her to “let go of it” and “move on.”
“This is called moving on,” Bertinelli said.
“This is called healing. And to all of you that can identify with this and feel seen: welcome. I’m just another part of your tribe,” she concluded.
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