‘Grief is the price we pay for love’: How UK’s Queen Elizabeth II paid tribute to 9/11 victims in 2001


Today, the world remembers the nearly 3,000 people killed when hijacked jetliners crashed into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001. 

This year, people across the world are mourning the demise of the United Kingdom’s Queen Elizabeth II. Britain’s longest-reigning monarch died peacefully at her home in Scotland on Thursday (September 8) at the age of 96. 

Today, we also remember how the Queen had paid tribute to the 9/11 victims after the attacks.

In her message of condolence to the families of victims, she said, “Nothing that can be said can begin to take away the anguish and the pain of these moments. Grief is the price we pay for love.” 

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Her message was widely reused last year on the death of her husband, Prince Philip. The same message was used by many after she passed away. 

To pay tribute, the British daily The Telegraph used the same quote on its front page a day after she died. 

William, the Prince of Wales, on Saturday (September 10), wrote a heartfelt message for his “Grannie”. He also mentioned the same quote. 

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Prince of Wales said, “While I will grieve her loss, I also feel incredibly grateful. I have had the benefit of The Queen’s wisdom and reassurance into my fifth decade. My wife has had 20 years of her guidance and support. My three children have got to spend holidays with her and create memories that will last their whole lives. She was by my side at my happiest moments. And she was by my side during the saddest days of my life.” 

“My grandmother famously said that grief was the price we pay for love. All of the sadness we will feel in the coming weeks will be testament to the love we felt for our extraordinary Queen. I will honour her memory by supporting my father, The King, in every way I can,” he mentioned in the note. 

The statement of United States President Joe Biden and First Lady Jill Biden on the death of Queen Elizabeth II also had a mention of Queen’s tribute. 

A part of the statement read, “…And she [the Queen] stood in solidarity with the United States during our darkest days after 9/11, when she poignantly reminded us that ‘Grief is the price we pay for love‘.” 

An article by MarieCurie noted that the words are adapted from a passage written by Dr Colin Murray Parkes, a psychiatrist at St Christopher’s Hospice in his book Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life

“The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love: it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in theirs.” Dr Colin Murray Parkes, from Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life 

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