Florida sheriff posts snarky ‘Drug Dealing for Dummies’ after suspect allegedly hides fentanyl in odd place


Deputies in Florida found a bag of fentanyl in an unusual place after taking an alleged drug dealer to jail, and the sheriff had plenty to say about it. 

Brevard County Sheriff Wayne Ivey told the tale in a Facebook post on his office’s page with the title, “DRUG DEALING FOR DUMMIES…CHAPTER ONE,” containing four pieces of advice.

“Rule Number One: Don’t Be A Drug Dealer,” he wrote. “Rule Number Two: No Matter What, Don’t Be A Drug Dealer In Brevard County,” “Rule Number Three: If You Are Gonna Deal Drugs Don’t Fall Asleep Behind The Wheel,” and finally, “Rule Number Four: Even If You Hide Drugs In Your Butt The Cops Will Still Find Them.”

To illustrate his point, Ivey told the story of Katrina Workman. She allegedly violated the first two rules before falling asleep at the wheel while parked at a gas station in Mims Tuesday, breaking rule No. 3. 

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“If you deal drugs in Brevard County, you are going to jail,” Sheriff Wayne Ivey said in a Facebook post. (Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, Florida)

Two deputies said they observed her try to hide a bag that contained multiple types of illegal drugs.

“Workman was actually trying to conceal approximately 2 grams of Methamphetamine, approximately 2.6 grams of Fentanyl, approximately 1.8 grams of Buprenorphine, and approximately 6.4 grams of Amphetamine/Dextroamphetamine,” Ivey wrote. “As a result of not following the basic rules, especially numbers one and two, which clearly state don’t sell drugs and especially not in Brevard County, Workman was arrested and taken into custody!!”

The sheriff said deputies asked Workman if she had any other contraband hidden on her, and she said she did not after being warned she could face more charges if they later found drugs on her.

“Workman still blatantly ignored rule number four and carried another baggie of fentanyl into our jail which she had hidden in her buttocks,” Ivey wrote. “Well, as we clearly point out in Drug Dealing For Dummies, ‘even if you hide drugs in your butt the cops will still find it’ and that is exactly what happened as our Corrections Deputies seized the additional baggie of fentanyl, while Workman was changing into her nice new prison attire!!”

Online jail records show Workman was still in custody Wednesday with an Oct. 19 court date.

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“So students, what have we learned from this classic example of what happens if you don’t follow the basic rules covered in chapter one of Drug Dealing For Dummies?” Ivey asked toward the end of the post. “Well it’s simple…if you deal drugs in Brevard County, you are going to jail, if you fall asleep behind the wheel of your car in the parking lot you help the cops put you in jail, and lastly, if you hide drugs in your butt the cops will still find them and then you get another felony charge for bringing contraband into our jail!!”



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