So, you want to go out and celebrate the New Year?
I have four words for you: Welcome to Amateur Night! You read that correctly, this is one of the few holidays that lures people out drinking in ways akin to a moth being drawn to bug zapper. And sadly, the end results, at times, are just as disastrous.
On this day, many believe they have a hollow leg and can hold their booze. You’ll have happy drunks mixed with angry drunks. You’ll have the drunken philosopher spouting off his unwanted wisdom to a traditional bar fly who just wishes he’d shut his pie hole. You’ll have those people who bogart the pool tables and dart boards and the regulars who’d like to throw them out into the cold. You’ll have Gen Zers and Millennials eying each other with skepticism or even disgust.
You basically have a powder keg getting ready to explode.
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In other words, Amateur Night.
So, the question becomes, how to survive this insanity while still kicking off the New Year with a figurative bang.
Let’s start with the good news: New Year’s Day falls on a Sunday which means you can party on Saturday, detox on Sunday and have Monday off to rejuvenate yourself. Perfect situation.
Now, if you plan, there are a plethora of options that will provide hours of fun in a semi-safe environment.
Runaway for the weekend
Want a cheap holiday? Find a cold-weather location – Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Niagara Falls, Buffalo or International Falls, Minnesota. It doesn’t matter. It’s off-season for tourists so the prices will be cheap. You can sit in front of a fireplace snuggled with that special someone, have some champagne and room service. Sure, it’s bitterly cold outside, but it’s just another reason to get closer to your significant other. If you have more money, go someplace warm and secluded and do the same things without the worry of frostbite. Either way, you have fun, create memories and you’re safe.
Rent a block of rooms
Look for a nice, swanky hotel and typically it will hold a New Year’s Eve party. You can even get a block of rooms and make each a themed room. You can have a smoking room, a disco room, a game room and a quiet room, use your imagination. Included in a typical package is dinner, dancing, an open bar, and champagne at midnight. You’ll get a nice meal, all the beverages you want, friends to celebrate with and you don’t have to drive. The next morning you can drag your hungover self out and no one will have to know why there’s a potbellied pig in the disco room – that becomes the hotel’s issue.
House party
Remember those wonderful days of your youth when you and all your friends would meet at someone’s home? Great times. There was beer, counters full of Jack Daniel’s, Fireball, Boone’s Farm and some weird, concocted punch. OK, maybe you don’t remember anything like that, but suffice it to say, being together is what mattered. You could sing to your favorite songs, dance on tables and, as long as the valuables were locked up and everyone stuck around and looked out for each other, nothing bad was likely to happen. Sounds like a great way to celebrate the New Year. If you have a party like this, you can drink and stay safe. If you overindulge, you know your friends will take care of you – and by taking care of you, we mean finding you a couch and drawing on your face with a Sharpie. Don’t worry, it’ll wear off by Tuesday … maybe.
Corner bar
So you want to go where everyone knows your name. The bartender knows your bar tab, your hopes, dreams, failures and, well, everything about you. This is your home away from home. You can munch on apps all night, play bar trivia and enjoy your favorite beverage made the way you like it. Sure there will be drunks at the bar, but they’re your drunks and you love’ em. You can play darts with your friends, shoot some pool and hope you meet someone to ring in the New Year with when the clock hits midnight. Then, you’re walking distance from home so you can have fun, be safe and stumble home at the end of the night.
Stay home alone
Grab that box of Mallowmars or a vat of popcorn and watch “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest,” while wondering why you have no girlfriend, your friends didn’t include you in their plans and where everything went so wrong in your life.
Just kidding. Count your blessings, make your resolutions, binge the annual “Twilight Zone” marathon and stay safe and cozy on the couch. If you want, you can even pretend it’s midnight at 10 p.m. and catch some Zzzzs. We won’t tell.
All of these ideas have one central theme − whatever you do on New Year’ Eve, please be safe.
Have fun, call a cab, pick a designated drive, rent a party bus, do whatever; just please, don’t drink and drive. Happy New Year!
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